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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to criticism from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. But, he questions he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people hide it, because of so much stigma linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

Although up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, research points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for talking therapy through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number